The Gift of Being Fully Seen This Summer

Summer often begins with high expectations.

We envision family vacations, slower mornings, and a welcome break from the hurried pace of the school year. Yet by July, many parents feel surprisingly tired. Children complain they are bored. Siblings argue. The novelty of summer starts to wear off, and we wonder why this season that promised rest can sometimes feel so exhausting.

Part of the challenge is that many of us do not know how to stop doing.

As parents, we spend much of the year managing schedules, solving problems, and making sure everyone’s needs are met. Summer arrives, but instead of slowing down, we often fill our calendars with more activities, more plans, and more expectations. We become so focused on creating meaningful experiences that we can unintentionally miss the meaningful moments already unfolding around us. What if the moments that seem the smallest are the ones that shape our children most?

The story of Martha and Mary in Luke 10 offers a gentle reminder. Martha was busy preparing, serving, and making sure everything was just right. Mary chose something different. She sat at Jesus’ feet and was fully present. She embraced stillness even in the busy.

In Beyond Blessed Parenting, I write about the difference between being fully seen and being “empty-seen.” Being fully seen includes being loved, cherished, valued, and known. Being empty-seen can leave us feeling misunderstood, unnoticed, and disconnected. When we are truly present with another, we are positioned to be fully seen.

I have always felt compassion for Martha. As a mother, therapist, author, and speaker, I understand her desire to care for everyone around her. Yet Jesus gently reminded her that she was worried and distracted by many things. Mary’s choice was not inactivity. It was presence. As a young mother, I often mistook busy for productive, and when I slowed down, fear often rushed in, tempting me to return to doing rather than simply be.

When Slowing Down Feels Hard

One reason slowing down feels uncomfortable is that our brains become accustomed to staying in task mode. We move from one responsibility to the next with little margin for reflection. Yet unstructured time can be healthy for both children and adults. These slower moments help us process experiences, foster creativity, and reconnect with ourselves and with God so we can truly connect with our children rather than getting caught in a perfection spiral.

“Fear often causes us to run to busyness, but our brains cherish stillness.” (Beyond Blessed Parenting)

Children do not necessarily remember every activity or event we plan. What stays with them is something much deeper: how they felt in our presence. It is the emotional imprint that lasts, not the experience itself.

They remember the parent who listened without rushing to fix it. They remember catching fireflies in the backyard, a conversation on the porch, or a walk around the neighborhood after dinner. They remember moments when they felt safe, known, and valued.

Fully Seen by God

The same is true in our relationship with God.

Psalm 139 reminds us that we are fully known by our Creator. Before we accomplish anything, solve a problem, or check another item off our to-do list, we are already seen and loved by Him. There is tremendous freedom in that truth. When we live from that place of being fully seen by God, we are more able to offer that same presence and grace to our children.

As I reflect on this summer, I am reminded that the greatest gift we may offer our children is not a perfect season filled with endless activities. It is our presence. It is creating space to notice one another. It is slowing down enough to listen, connect, and truly see one another—to create space for our children, and ourselves, to feel fully seen.

Before backpacks are packed and alarm clocks begin ringing again, perhaps we can receive the gift this season offers. Summer will not be perfect. There will be messy kitchens, sibling disagreements, and moments of boredom. Yet hidden within those ordinary moments is an invitation—to be present, connect deeply, and notice God’s presence in everyday life.

Can we hold onto this truth: “You have searched me, LORD, and you know me.” He sees us.

The school year will come soon enough. Before it does, let’s not miss what this season is trying to teach us: sometimes the most meaningful moments are not found in doing more, but in being fully present with the people God has placed right in front of us.